Solution: Go Threadless! What has no threads, you ask? Why 1/2" dowel has no threads. I headed over to the Home Depot with an idea in my head and picked up a 1/2x48" dowel and a tube of food grade silicone sealant. I used food grade silicone since we're dealing with food, but I'm not sure how important that is since where the silicone goes the food does not, but better safe than sorry. I used the silicone to give the dowels a tighter fit and prevent any bacteria/etc from getting down in the gap where it's hard to clean.
I cut the dowel into 12" lengths (also giving me 4" more head than the hex bolts, bonus!) and sanded the ends smooth. Then I dry fit everything and thanked the carpentry Gods everything shored up.
Next I drilled 7/64" pilot holes, one for each dowel coming in from the long side of the board. I figured this way was least likely to split the board. I drilled the pilot holes without the dowel in place because I want the dowel to split a little to increase the friction holding it in place.
I then added silicone around the end of the dowel and put it in place. I found putting the silicone on the dowel instead of in the hole was much easier and much more effective. Then I put the dowel in place, twisting it as I put it in. Once in place I screwed in my 1 1/4" outdoor sealed screws. As expected the dowels split, but a little more than I'd hoped. The split went up about 3/8" above the flush line, but I just filled it with a little silicone and it was good to go. I had enlarged the holes slightly to decrease friction with the threads (maybe 1/64") and I think that extra gap is what allowed for the excess splitting. If you stick with a solid 1/2" hole I think you should fare better. Lastly I cleaned up the excess silicone on both sides, added the follower, and let the silicone cure. I might add another layer of silicone if it pulls in too much, but I think I should be in good shape.
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